Turns out, pretty hard. 

Her valiant attempts to teach you how to pop up on the board result in one hilarious splash landing after another. You eventually bow down to her superior athletic skills and throw in (and on) the towel.

Two days have passed, and muscles you didn’t even know you had are still sore. Enter: The Spa at Koloa Landing.

The Spa at Koloa Landing, found right off the lobby at your resort, earns all the hyphenates: world-class, high-end, full-service and yes, much-needed. This Hawaiian oasis is known for its spirit of aloha and for the best massages on the island. Your fianceé says she cannot wait to be pampered into an elegant state of tranquility and lose herself in meditative bliss. You just want to be able to walk again without wincing.

You enter the spa and are surprised by how quickly your sense of calm sets in. The sophisticated space feels both Hawaiian and modern, and the staff greets you warmly, offering you iced lemon water and fresh oranges in the quiet lounge area. Soon you are both escorted past the stone fountain to the men’s and women’s changing rooms where you slip into feather-soft spa robes. You could get used to this.

Your masseuses invite you to get comfortable in the couples treatment room where the lights are low, candles flicker, and exotic music wafts in the air like a mist. The Spa offers customized facials, body treatments and a long list of massage therapies featuring products enriched with organic Kauain ingredients. When you booked the appointment, you requested the Honeymoon Ritual package because even though you aren’t married (yet) you wanted to treat your finaceé like a queen. Not to mention your muscles need all the help they can get.

The 90-minute Honeymoon Ritual is a side-by-side multi-faceted massage. You both select the Hawaiian Lomi Lomi technique for the body, and this traditional island method is just what the doctor ordered. The song “Hurts so Good” by John Mellencamp comes to mind as you ease into deep relaxation with every buttery, sweeping stroke. Your fianceé murmurs approval, too.

Next up is an exfoliating ginger-and-lime foot scrub that feels like a gift on your sore toes and heels. As you enjoy the same treatment on your hands, you make a mental note to learn how to do this for your future wife. Perhaps she’ll be more inclined to overlook your lack of board-sport skills. 

But the crowning glory is a warm coconut milk scalp treatment that is just about the best thing either of you has ever experienced with your towels on. Your masseuse’s magical fingers rub all the stress right out of your head, neck and shoulders. As you drift toward nirvana, you find yourself considering the feasibility of moving to Kauai . . . like, forever. You’d even promise to learn how to surf.

Come stay with us at Koloa Landing Resort and book your appointment at the Spa. Your loved one, your sense of well being and your sore muscles will thank you. 


— Erica Karlin, Koloa Landing Resort